Childhood learning · Culture · Education · Role of Women

The Lesson Learned is not Always the Lesson Taught

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Herb is the one who usually writes about poetry, but I have something to say about a poem.

Miss Mary Braden, my fifth grade teacher, was a throwback to the Victorian era. Her skirt came down to her ankles, she carried a cane, and her long gray hair was tied up at the back in a big bun. She was a regular Gradgrind. and she hated children, or so it seemed to me. To Miss Braden poetry was a trusted pedagogical tool; To this day I can still remember many lines of the poems we were required to memorize and recite.

In School Days by John Greenleaf  Whittier was written in 1870 at the height of the Victorian era. It tells a charming story about children, but it ends with a discouraging message:

Self interest is the motivating force that informs almost all human interaction. So don’t expect to be given any consideration just because you are likeable (or even loveable).

 That was the lesson we were supposed to learn, but what we took from the poem was something quite different.

The setting is a one-room schoolhouse  at dismissal time. A boy and a girl linger behind.  There has been a spelling bee that afternoon in which the boy and girl ended up as the last two contestants, and the girl turned out to be the winner.

In School Days

Still sits the school-house by the road,
A ragged beggar sleeping;
Around it still the sumachs grow,
And blackberry vines are creeping.

* * * * * * *

Long years ago a winter sun
Shone over it at setting;
Lit up its western window-panes
And low eaves’ icy fretting.

It touched the tangled golden curls,
And brown eyes full of grieving,
Of one who still her steps delayed
When all the school were leaving.

For near her stood the little boy
Her childish favor singled:
His cap pulled low upon a face
Where pride and shame were mingled

* * * * * * *

He saw her lift her eyes; he felt
The soft hand’s light caressing,
And heard the tremble of her voce,
As if a fault confessing.

“I’m sorry that I spelt the word:
I hate to go above you,
Because,”—the brown eyes lower fell,—
“Because, you see, I love you!”

Still memory to a gray-haired man
That sweet child-face is showing.
Dear girl! The grasses on her grave
Have forty years been growing.

He lives to learn, in life’s hard school,
How few who pass above him
Lament their triumph and his loss,
Like her,—because they love him.

Now we ten-year-olds knew nothing about life’s hard school, not yet having experienced it. The lesson of the ultimate stanza was therefore lost on us, but we could identify with these children.

I had brown eyes; I was a good speller. I was in love—_with Jack Sevier— as was every other girl in our class. “Tangled golden curls”? Well, okay, three out of four; I could still identify.

And although I could not have then articulated it plainly, here was a potent message packaged so that even a ten-year-old could understand it. It was a lesson girls were taught over and over in subtle ways long after Whittier and Miss Braden were around to teach it.  It taught girls how to behave and boys what to expect from girls:

“I’m sorry that I spelt the word,
I hate to go above you,
“Because,”—her brown eyes lower fell,—
“Because you see, I love you.”

Girls need to disown their accomplishments if they want to gain favor with boys.  And there are certain techniques that girls can use to be appealing   . . . the lifted (and lowered) eyes; the caressing hands, the trembling voice, the frank apology.

In spite of the genuine progress women have made since 1870, when Whittier wrote his poem, sad to say, some women still are reluctant to own their accomplishments, and some men would just as soon they didn’t.

Do you still remember a poem you were required to memorize in school?To leave a comment scroll to the top of the post and click on the word “comments.”

 

8 thoughts on “The Lesson Learned is not Always the Lesson Taught

  1. I have been guilty of doing what the little girl did in the poem. I admit it. And I have known some men that this tactic worked on. But, looking back, those men were never worth it. I’m sorry you had to suffer through your very own Gradgrind! I kinda like that poem, though.

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  2. Wonderful post, Mary! My favorite memorized poem is Spring and Fall by Gerard Manley Hopkins. The last two lines both moved and frightened me in grammar school:

    “It is the blight man was born for,
    It is Margaret you mourn for.”

    I can still recite many others I learned in school.

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    1. I don’t believe we were ever required to memorize Spring and Fall, but the first and last lines are in my memory. It is indeed a moving poem and one that becomes more and more meaningful as the years go by.

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      1. Coincidentally, while wandering around Nantucket recently, I noted a plaque on one of the old houses. It stated that John Greenleaf Whittier wrote his poem The Exiles in 1841 while staying there. He was descended from the famous Coffin family of Nantucket.

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  3. Yes, while many went right over my heard and none had such deep and sinister messages as these, I loved learning Longfellow’s Preface to Evageline: so vivid and over the top place I could only imagine but without those words!

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  4. I have just read this post from August 24. That’s how far behind I am, but the Book Bazaar intervened. However, I have to comment to say that my favorite, from many that I memorized, is “The Ballad of the Harp Weaver,” and I can still bring the Book House girls to tears reciting it. I bet you could have guessed this one. It was only 64 years ago that you first read this poem to me. “Just my size.”

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